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What’s Going On?!

Since New Year’s Eve, we’ve had 3 tornadoes in the area and severe weather like I’ve never seen.  It’s scary to think how much devastation has hit our area.  Just take a look at the latest in Joplin.



There are so many ways to help:
1. Buy a T-shirt – Now I’m not a Mizzou fan (Go Illini!) but I’m considering buying this shirt.  
2. Donate to the Red Cross

Momentarily, we’re very lucky to gotten by with the little amount of damage that we’ve had.  It’s not over.  More to come tomorrow.  Let’s hope it’s not as bad as they are predicting.

My Little Boy is Getting So Big

Time got away from us last month so we weren’t able to get in to get his pictures taken.  We finally were able to make it in today and it was so much fun.  Turns out E loves the camera.  We took about 20 minutes of photos and I think there were 5 shots where he wasn’t smiling. 

We also got to enjoy our new hammock.  I think we could sit out there all day if the weather was right.  Now if I could just get him to fall asleep in there.

After all this, we finally got him to take a cat nap.  He’s not much for daytime sleeping but when we do get these brief moments of peace, I like to document it. Most kids love a pacifier, or a stuffed animal or blanket, E loves his burp clothes.  It’s pretty funny.

An Assessment of Unintended Effects

In my pregnancy days, I worried a lot, too much, about whether or not I’d be able to return to my pre-baby weight and form.  I even started to give clothes away that were sizes that I thought I’d never fit into again.

During pregnancy, I stressed that I’d be over weight, sleep deprived and demotivated.  I really felt like a piece of me was going to just shrivel up and die.

What I realized this morning is that it might have been a bad idea to get rid of those clothes.  Because I am back to former self.  In fact, I’m a new improved version.  Physically, I’m actually thinner, which I’m thinking is a result of the breastfeeding.  My chest is bigger, which I know is a result of the breastfeeding.  Mentally, I’m more focused, because every second away from E has got to be worth it.  I’m not going to the gym anymore to just go through the motions.  I’m making it count.  Go big or go home (and play with my baby).  I’ve got a renewed sense of drive and a need for personal achievement as well as spirituality.  Something that I’m praying E adopts in his own life. And I’m just happier.  I love my husband but there’s something about coming home to a baby who gets so excited to see you that he might wet himself (which is entirely possible).

Am I tired?  Yep.  I have good days and bad days, just like any other mother but when you realize you get to go shopping again in your own closet, you get a little excited.  I’m getting to pull clothes out that haven’t seen the sun in two years and they are still fashionably acceptable.  It’s a win, win. 

Bottom line, life is good.

Stop Trying to Finding the Balance and Just Live

I don’t know about you but my weekend was full.  From the time I got off work on Friday night till just now as I climbed into bed.  I always feel like I’m in over drive and therefore E has to follow suite and I’m starting to wonder if it’s unfair to him.  I’ve been trying to read a few books (in the little free time I have) and both have me thinking.  When will it stop?

The first..”Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child“, a book that came highly recommended from some knowledgeable mothers, is making me realize that my desire for an active lifestyle might be happening at E’s expense.  This book does a good job at explaining his sleep-wake cycle and I’m able to read it just like the book.  Problem is that I’m not good at acting on it.  I see the signs, he’s tired but the gyms child care is only available smack dab on his nap time.  Tonight I’m feeling extremely guilty and am trying to figure out what to do.  Which brings me to my other book..

Balance is a Crock, Sleep is for the Weak”  Just the title alone makes me think probably even more so than the content of the book.  The content is a little quirky but the for me, there’s an underlying message.  As moms, we’re always try to achieve the unattainable “balance” and I don’t know about you but I that I beat myself up when I let something slip because I’m still living under this false expectation that I can be everything to everyone when really what I should be is:
1. A mom to a beautiful baby boy,
2. A wife to a husband that works hard and
3. A family member and then EVERYTHING ELSE.

It’s tough.  It is, I won’t be the first to tell you.  But I’m going to have to start just living, and quite reaching for something that can’t be reached.  Everyday, I’m going to wake up, assess the demands and decide what gets done and what doesn’t and try as I might to stick to it.

Something has got to give and it’s my job to decide what that is.  It’s my job to decide for me, for E and my family and to date, I’ve been selfish in trying to achieve “balance”.  My mantra from now on…”Just Live”.

What do you think?

Do Something

I’ve recently been connecting on Twitter with (@momslrb) other moms who are as motivated as I am about fitness.  Around the beginning of May we challenged ourselves to do something, anything everyday in May.  I took up the challenge and committed to running at least 2 miles everyday.  Here we are May 11th and I’ve run a total of 24 1/2 miles since May 1.

There have been days where I didn’t want to do anything, like yesterday, but the commitement to the group is motivating.

Today E and I went out for what was going to be just a quick 2 mile run.  An out and back on a local trail that we know very well.  E’s been running it for a while, even before he was born.  After the 10 minutes out, I found myself running an extra 10 before turning around.  Sometimes running is so much more than a run.  Today it was a brainstorming session and an opportunity to get myself in check.

In the 40 minutes that we ran, I made my mental list of things I need to do this week, recalled what I had accomplished this week and thought about how to address some challenges at work and enjoyed the scenery (the trail runs along side the clydesdale stables).  Beautiful horses and green landscape.

I can’t tell you how much I look forward to getting outside with E and running.  When I was pregnant I use to hope that this is what it would be like.  That E would enjoy running as much as I do and now at the very least, he loves to be pushed.  He truly is Moms Little Running Buddy.

Love it!

The Morning From Hell

I just need to vent a little bit than I’ll be able to get past it.  Monday was a terrible day but it’s over.  Tuesday has even come and almost gone.  We’re past it.  Wednesday is upon us.

I usually try to wake up every morning with a sense of optimism and positivity but I knew something was not right and was finding it hard to stay positive.  Baby E was feeling a little under the weather but I needed to go to work.

S dropped him off in the morning but all I could think about on the way to work was E.  Mom’s intuition got the best of me and I called the doctor’s office and explained his symptoms.  Sure enough, the asked me to bring him in that morning.  So mind you, it’s now 8:00 A.M., I just got to work, I have a standing 8:30 meeting and now I have to go from the middle of STL, to the North end of town, and then back down to the city center all by 10:00 A.M.  Needless to say, I was feeling the pressure to get there on time and MIGHT have found myself accelerating a little faster than I should have been.  Then I see them…the red and blue lights.  I haven’t gotten a ticket since I was 17.  I didn’t even try to explain to the cop.  I was just so frustrated that all I could do was call the MD and let him know we were going to be late.  So FINALLY, I got my ticket and we made it to the doctor about 15 minutes late. 
After a quick exam, we found out E had his third ear infection and needed another breathing treatment which he HATES.  
He’s needed these breathing treatments all the time since he had RSV in February.  That was so scary that I cemented the warning signs in my mind.  I refuse to let E get that again.  I can’t even tell you how much it hurt my heart to see him suffer.  
So after the exam we spent the rest of the day giving treatments and cuddling.  
You know your little one is sick when all he wants to do is cuddle up on Mom.  I can’t say that I object.  I would’ve laid there all day if he wanted me too.  Actually we did.  That was the only way I could get him to sleep.  
At the end of the day, the ticket didn’t matter, the pressures of the day didn’t matter.  What mattered is that E was in my arms and we were doing ok.  These are among many of the memories that while not pleasant I’ll remember always because I am reminded of why being a Mom is the most important role I play now.  Everything else is second.